elle days | courier six (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
quixotically) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
theclipper_tlv2022-08-04 11:10 pm
quixotically) wrote in theclipper_tlv2022-08-04 11:10 pm
Entry tags:
video || definitely not fishing for info. definitely
Um... Hey everybody! This is -- I wanna talk especially to all the new people here, the ones who came from that other ship. [This is a friendly smile, but a nervous one.] My name's Elle, Elle Days. I've been here for, uh, a while. Yeah. I'm not an Assistant right now, but I've been one before. Uh... More than once. So -- I know how hard can be, to find your path to... happiness. The kind of happiness the Nurse is trying to get everyone to.
But -- I want to try to help. I... haven't been through what you guys are going through right now, but I know what it's like to... lose people. [She has been fidgeting through the whole video, fingers tugging at themselves and dancing over her knuckles, but here, for a brief moment here, they stall out. When they start back up, that fidgeting is noticably faster.] Um. So. I thought -- It might help to... make a list. Of all the people you're looking for, the ones you want to know what happened to them, where they went. And I thought maybe I could be the one to put it together? And then we could ask the Nurse.
It... I dunno what kind of answers we'd get, but it's worth trying, right?
Um. So, yeah, this is like, a weird kind of roll call I guess? [Elle laughs a little.] And I know people have offered to answer questions and help with adjusting and stuff, but, uh, I'll toss my hat into that ring, too, while I'm at it.
[ooc: this is courier six from fallout: new vegas! brief info can be found here~]
But -- I want to try to help. I... haven't been through what you guys are going through right now, but I know what it's like to... lose people. [She has been fidgeting through the whole video, fingers tugging at themselves and dancing over her knuckles, but here, for a brief moment here, they stall out. When they start back up, that fidgeting is noticably faster.] Um. So. I thought -- It might help to... make a list. Of all the people you're looking for, the ones you want to know what happened to them, where they went. And I thought maybe I could be the one to put it together? And then we could ask the Nurse.
It... I dunno what kind of answers we'd get, but it's worth trying, right?
Um. So, yeah, this is like, a weird kind of roll call I guess? [Elle laughs a little.] And I know people have offered to answer questions and help with adjusting and stuff, but, uh, I'll toss my hat into that ring, too, while I'm at it.
[ooc: this is courier six from fallout: new vegas! brief info can be found here~]
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Finally, she settles on,] It may sound obvious, but -- You never wanna... get demoted. Because once you're a Patient, even once, just... It means, to the Nurse, you're always a Patient. Always... subject -- to getting pulled back. Even if you leave later.
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I can do that.
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But that just makes her tense for a different reason.]
In... theory. Yeah. But it isn't uncommon for people who freshly graduated, and are going through their mandatory Assistant period, to get demoted again. And if that happens, their Assistant who graduated them... doesn't get their deal.
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Hmm, not ideal, but I think there are ways I can help make that happen. [Possibly involving very close monitoring, creative use of Nurse requests, and maybe drugs. And what happens to the former Patient after Norton has his deal and is gone is none of his concern.]
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I don't... want anyone else... to feel like this. I don't know if I can be of any use, but if there's anything I can do to help... Don't hesitate to ask.
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[He'd asked Yunlan for a similar promise, but Yunlan and Norton have enough history that he could ask it honestly. With Elle, he'll settle for taking advantage of a stranger's kindness with some mild emotional manipulation.]
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[A beat.] This place -- is about saying things you don't mean, no matter how you feel. But I do mean this. If I can help someone else... If I can actually do something for once -- I mean it. Everything I can.
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And who knows, maybe all that time pretending will help you save yourself, too. As Heraclitus said, ἦθος ἀνθρώπῳ δαίμων.
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Softly,] Pretending isn't enough. Not for me. Not for where I'm from. I -- Violence... isn't a choice back home. I never wanted to fight, to -- hurt anyone. But in order to protect myself, protect other people... I wasn't given a choice. I'll never have a choice.
And -- Graduating someone, taking a deal to go somewhere else, that isn't an option for me, either. There are people relying on me back home. Things... only I can do. Promises I made. And someone... Someone who -- was here, then disappeared, and I'm scared about what happened to him, and I can't leave until I know, in case -- he needs saving, too.
And I... I'm -- I don't think I'm capable... of being who the Nurse wants me to be. Permanently, forever. [There's a little sullenness now, a little bitterness, a contrast to the sad, muted desperation up until now.] I can pretend long enough to help you -- to help other people leave. But I'm never going to be free of this place.